I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
