so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
