Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
