dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize