Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
