in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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