I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
