how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
