The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
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