she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
