Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize
