The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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