You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
