careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize