I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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