You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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