Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
