i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
