I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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