what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize