Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Randomize
