i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize