So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
