So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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