Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
