Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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