Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
My cat gives me a boner
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
