I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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