just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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