They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I am available for nakedness
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
