I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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