this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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