She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
My orgasm happened in two different decades
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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