Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
