I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
