You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
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