He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
