Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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