People with herpes should wear stickers.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
