You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
if only i could text you this smell
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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