No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
