Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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