Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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