Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
