Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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