gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
