My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Randomize
