I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
