Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
