I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize