yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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