piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I just cut my nipple shaving
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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