would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
