All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
of course. lets lasso hookers.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
