gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
