Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
