it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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