what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
