so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
