just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
