I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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