I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
