She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
