Can Purell be used as lube?
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
And the cops told us we were all naked.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
