So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
