marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
