I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
