i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
We have so much sex to catch up on
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
