He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
