My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
